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日期: 2020-04-04 | 來源: CGTN | 有0人參與評論 | 字體: 小 中 大
疫情下的生與死：難再見，難說再見...
在短短兩個多月時間裡，新冠肺炎疫情席卷全球200多個國家和地區，確診病例已超100萬人。在冰冷的統計數字背後，是不幸消逝和不甘消逝的生命，是無數家庭難以承受的悲慟。
“失去親人已經夠艱難了，但最讓人撕心裂肺的是，在這壹刻我還不能和家人緊緊擁抱相互安慰。”
這是壹個剛剛失去了母親的兒子在壹段視頻裡悲痛的哭訴。
在新冠肺炎期間，有太多人像他這樣，在親人逝去後，無法給他們壹個完整的告別儀式，甚至連親人的最後壹面都見不到……
"Losing someone is hard enough, but not being able to hold your family close when you do is the most gut-wrenching pain I've ever felt in my life," said a sobbing son in a heart-breaking video that went viral on social media recently.
The man identified as Stuart Hamlin from Portsmouth in the UK posted the video on his Facebook account revealing how he lost his mother to the novel coronavirus and was unable to see and hold her for the very last time.
"We can't grieve, we can't comfort each other. We can't hold each other," he cried.
Stuart is not alone. As of Saturday, COVID-19 has claimed more than 58,900 lives and infected over a million people worldwide, according to Johns Hopkins University. With visitors banned in order to control and prevent the spread of the virus, almost everyone is dying in isolation – away from their loved ones.
“如果壹個人去世的時候是獨自壹人，這會使愛他的人感覺很痛心。這算是我們最大的社會禁忌之壹…...我們都相信人們不應該孤獨的死去。”貝爾法斯特女王大學的物權法和死亡研究學教授希瑟·康韋如是說。
那麼，這壹次的新冠肺炎疫情是否會改變人們對待死亡的方式，乃至和親人告別的方式呢？
康韋在接受CGTN采訪時說，有兩點核心價值需要考慮：其壹是為死者保留尊嚴和體面，其贰是保障公眾健康。“在當前情況下，更為准確的說法是，我們對待死者的方式正在發生根本性的變化。當下重點已經轉移到了如何保障公眾健康——我指的是活著的人們的生理健康（抵御新冠病毒威脅）。”
英國杜倫大學生死學研究中心主任道格拉斯·詹姆斯·戴維斯說，這次的大流行病已經將死亡從壹個“觀點性問題”變成了“事實性問題”。“當前大環境下，人們在討論的是死亡人數。當我們談論宗教和政治信仰的時候，這是觀點性問題，我們或許會有不同的看法，但數字是客觀的。”
“這點很重要，數字的意義在於攤開了人們對死亡那份原本隱藏著的焦慮。”
Heather Conway, professor of Property Law and Death Studies at the School of Law, Queen's University Belfast, says, "At an emotional level it could have a heartbreaking impact on the people who lose loved ones, when that person has died alone. It's one of our biggest social taboos… we believe that people should not die alone."
So, is the coronavirus pandemic changing the way we deal with death and the dead?
"There are two core values, namely respect and decency for the dead and protecting public health. In the current circumstances, it's probably more accurate to say that how we treat the dead is being fundamentally altered these days. The focusing has shifted to safeguarding public health – and by this we mean physical health of the living (against the threat posed by the virus)," Prof. Conway told CGTN Digital.
According to Professor Douglas James Davies, director of the Center for Death and Life Studies at Durham University in the UK, the pandemic has turned death into a matter of fact from being a matter of opinion. "In the current world circumstances, people are talking about the statistics of how many people have died of the virus. So, when we talk about religious and political beliefs, they are opinions and we can dispute them, but numbers are very factual."
"I think that's a really important issue, the role of numbers in bringing out to the surface the otherwise implicit anxiety over death," Prof. Davies told CGTN Digital.
由於嚴格的社交隔離措施以及對集會人數的限制，失去親人的人們還經歷著另壹種創傷，那就是無法與逝者做最後的道別。
康韋教授表示，“葬禮的形式已經改變了，屍體被放在了已經封閉好的棺材裡，這意味著家屬既無法見逝者最後壹面，也無法再觸碰到已逝的親人了。葬禮上，家屬們也依然要遵守社交隔離的要求。他們不能將棺材抬入墓中，而是必須分開站立在墓穴的兩旁。雖然逝者身上的病毒已經死了，但是這些防護措施依然是必要的。”
眼下，甚至連伊斯蘭學者和伊瑪目也轉而采用伊斯蘭法律裡罕用的葬禮形式了。
印度伊斯蘭中心主席Maulana Khalid Firangi Mahli告訴CGTN：“最近這些日子，我們已經不再對死者進行下葬前的‘浴禮’了，屍體也不再放進‘卡凡’或白色裹屍袋裡，而是放在了塑料袋裡。” 受疫情影響，目前也只允許直系親屬參加葬禮了。
在隔離的悲痛中，有人利用了科技的力量。“我注意到，在大型集會被限制的情況下，人們在紀念逝去親人這件事情上卻表現出了更多的創造力。許多人正在利用互聯網的資源進行虛擬聚會，他們在線上團聚並共同紀念對親人們的記憶。” 美國德克薩斯大學河谷分校浸信會學生部校園主任傑裡·喬爾告訴CGTN Digital。
But with strict social distancing measures and gatherings limited to a few attendees, grieving families are left behind with an additional trauma of not being able to say a final goodbye.
"Funeral formats have changed with closed coffins which means that families won't be allowed to see or to touch the dead for the last time. Family members are also maintaining social distancing at funerals: they can't carry the coffins to the grave and must stand apart from each other at the graveside. Though the virus dies in the dead but these are the precautions that need to be taken at this time," Prof. Conway said.
Even Islamic scholars and imams are invoking rarely-used funeral rituals of the Islamic law.
"These days we are not performing the ritual bathing and balming on the bodies before burying them in a plastic bag rather than the 'kafan' or white burial shroud," Maulana Khalid Firangi Mahli, chairperson of the Islamic Center of India, told CGTN Digital, adding that due to the current situation only immediate family members are allowed to attend funerals.
And then there are those who are turning to technology in this time of grief in seclusion. "What I have noticed is that people are being more creative in how they honor their lost loved one due to the restrictions on large gathering. Many are using the resources of the internet to have virtual gatherings where they come together online to celebrate the memory of the loved one," Jerry Joule, Campus Ministry director for the Baptist Student Ministry at the University of Texas Rio Grande Valley, U.S., told CGTN Digital.
但是，線上葬禮真的能夠取代人們在傳統葬禮中通過觸摸、擁抱和親吻所獲得的寬慰嗎？
荷蘭人類學家范傑納曾說，“葬禮期間，人們能夠從社會體系獲得所需要的幫助和指引。” 現如今，人們不得不放棄傳統的葬禮舉辦形式。由此，戴維斯教授認為在疫情期間失去親人的人們將會帶著壹種“被剝奪感”生活下去。
戴維斯教授在與CGTN的采訪中表示，他盼望著有壹天，人們可以為全球范圍內新冠肺炎的受害者舉辦壹場大型的紀念儀式，這或許可以為人們提供壹個“健康哀悼”的機會，從而取代他們心中關於死亡的痛苦回憶。
“在哀悼過程中與逝者做最後的告別是很重要的。雖然人們現在無法通過最後的擁抱和親吻與逝去的親人告別，但是人們依然可以通過別的方式獲得解脫。”喬爾表示，“即便處於社交隔離中，人們也不必獨自面對悲傷。去找人傾訴吧，哪怕只是通過電話也好。銘記並珍惜與逝去親人的美好回憶是極其重要的。”
當被問及疫情結束後心理問題的個案數是否會增加時，戴維斯教授說，“疫情的波及范圍是如此之廣，它已經成為了壹個廣泛存在的社會場景。當人們知道有許多人也經歷了與他們類似的苦難後，他們也許能從中獲得壹絲安慰。知道自己並不孤單這件事本身就具有療愈的效果。”
But can altered funeral traditions, and virtual memorials replace the basic human comfort of touch, hug and a kiss?
"During funeral rituals the society takes us by the hand at a time when we need someone to support us and lead us," Prof. Davies quoted Dutch anthropologist Arnold van Gennep, saying that those who have lost their loved ones during the pandemic will carry with them the "sense of deprivation" since ordinary funerals and the culture of funerals have dramatically changed.
Prof. Davies told CGTN Digital that he's expecting mass memorials for the victims around the world to replace bad memories associated with their death with "healthy grief."
For now, millions are forced to mourn in isolation. "Closure is very important for the grieving process. While that final hug and goodbye kiss are very meaningful and helpful in finding closure, it is possible to find closure even when one does not have such an opportunity," said Pastor Joule, adding "It is important to know that even during social distancing you do not have to face grief alone. Reach out to someone, even if it is only by telephone, find someone who will walk with you in this situation. It is important to cherish the memory of the loved one and remember the beautiful times you had together."
Commenting on the possibility of a rise in mental health cases after the pandemic is over, Prof. Davies said that "because this is such a widely experienced social situation, people might gain some comfort from the thought that there were many others having a similar experience – the fact that so many people have been caught up in this situation, might itself be a therapeutic thing."
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